6 Jun 2012

What is Love?

  We’ve got mixed feelings here on love – I’ve read your notes, so I can tell. They say ‘Love is a Roller Coaster’. Ronan Keating, go to hell. I couldn’t write a book on love. I couldn’t write a postcard. I might just fill a postage stamp But even that would be hard. Love [...]

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24 May 2012

Halloween Poem

Fear Top Hundred There are one hundred kinds of fear. 1. Standing in the dark by yourself & hearing someone cough. Someone near. 2. Standing in the dark with a friend who has a heavy cold and then, Very abruptly, Not hearing them cough ever again. Those are the first two kinds of fear. There [...]

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24 May 2012

I Love London Poem

I Love London   As Dr Johnson said, ‘When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. When a man is tired of Boris Johnson, he moves to Sweden with his wife.    I first moved here in 1998 And my first impression was not that great. Grey & unfriendly & full [...]

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5 Apr 2012

Dreams Poem

All Our Dreams Are The Same   There are three good things about dreams. That we have them, That they are real And that they end.   I was alone in a dark country With a silver moon that Is a chain of all lengths. It slips away. Ominous shadows of fighting elephants. Stop fighting, [...]

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5 Apr 2012

Lunar Love Song Poem

A Love Song from the Man in the Moon to Ms Earth I’m right here, looking across at you And I’m thinking ‘Wow.’ I’m thinking Wow right now. And how! How do you look that way? That blue green dress, I’m impressed . The way it turns golden like sunlight on clouds. Or your black [...]

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5 Apr 2012

Going to Work Poem

My Morning Walk to Work (by James Hogg aged 35)   Or   Rambling         I think ‘Ah, what a lovely morning!’ Or ‘Fuck me. Rain.’ It’s seasonal. I wish I’d had more breakfast. As the exercise hits my system, stretching me, I start farting and yawning. I think about how the [...]

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5 Apr 2012

Careers Advisor Poem

When I Grow Up   When I grow up, I want to be a millionaire tycoon And have twins feed me caviarre from a ruby-crusted spoon. I want to be a spaceman and go toilet on the moon. I want to be an author and the voice of a cartoon.   When I grow up [...]

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5 Apr 2012

Medieval Advertising Poem

Adman Lay Ybounden   Picture this in 80 point bold caps, underlined, With monastic illumination – ‘The Cow: Redefined.’ Our market research has conclusively revealed That this product is always outstanding in its field. For 1002, It’s slick and it’s new, It’s trendy, it’s you And it sometimes goes moo, Peasants and serfs, set your [...]

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5 Apr 2012

Summertime Poem

A Straight Shot of Summer in a Winter CupVitamin D! Nudity! Summer clearly Is the thing for me I’m feeling free I’m a sun baby When there’s colour in the flower beds & green on the trees It’s the summer. Feel that breeze. I’d say the early summer’s best When everything is still fresh & [...]

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5 Apr 2012

The Late Madness Poem

Insight at 0300   I don’t know whether it’s madness or not But that’s the rub, really, isn’t it? When it’s 3 am and the nightingales are going batshit crazy outside the window, Burbling god knows what to each other like lunatic flutes, That’s when you really start thinking. You think all the things you [...]

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